Personal | The First 2 Years...

Hey Mama's... I don't really post a lot of personal stories on my blog... and I really don't know why. Sometimes I feel that maybe it should be just for recent work... but then I realized that my personal posts were some of the most liked. Sweet! I do enjoy sharing my personal thoughts, especially on motherhood, because it's all so crazy and we're all working through, slowly *but surely, being good mama's in our own ways.

I used to "write" more, when it was just Sienna and I at home together, When Ethan came on the scene... forget about it. He's always been the easier of the two, but when you go from 1 to 2... look the f out. Obviously these thoughts are my own from my own experience... but girlfriend, just prepare yourself, mmmk? It's one thing if your children will be more than 2.5 years apart, but when if they are close in age, like E+S (now age 2 +4), 24mos exactly, nearly TO.THE.DAY... just know, you're going into the war zone of life... but YOU WILL come out alive. I assure you.

I would always describe the first 2 years of each of my children's lives, like being on a wooden raft out in the ocean, and you're going through treacherous waters, the waves are crashing and the rain is falling hard, but I'm making progress so I'm satisfied, of course I had some spectacular days that were a little more calm... but overall it is just chaotic. And bravely I pressed on towards a brand new land...

For me, right around 2 years old, the rain lets up a little and through the waves you can see... (what seems to be) the warm, soft, golden shores of more calm times. And one day it hit me, this is all going to end, very shortly... this crazy, chaotic, exhausting world of babies that has been my life for years now. I saw that beautiful golden shoreline... and shockingly, it made me a little bit sad. I was just getting the hang of this rickety wooden raft.

For me, becoming a full time mother has been a huge shifting/growing/learning/realizing period in my life. Loooooooots of time to think....Most people's response to me being a full time/SAHM is "omg, I don't know how you do it"...for me, it's all I ever saw and really, all I ever wanted... (well, that and to be a famous talk show host). I should also share that I thought it was going to be much easier than it is! haha, I'm not gonna lie, motherhood is H-A-R-D... wtf? did you think it was going to be like this? haha I guess what it shakes out to is the rewards are my world, It's all I truly care about when I look at the "big picture" of my life and what really matters to me in the end.

So, there you have it, my random "mother" thoughts of the day.