Elle is finally here!

Hi There! well, Elle Renee (we share a middle name along with 2 of my neices) finally made her way into the world after being coaxed out on November 17, 2017.

backstory: it was a tough pregnancy... but the nail in my coffin was months after my pelvic bone split, I could no longer walk. Literally, I was crippled by this, in so much pain, the most I could do was shuffle around the house and that was only because I had to. The last 2 weeks leading up to her birth were excruciating. The entire last week my mother in law took the kids every single day because I just couldn't get off the couch. It was really bad.

So, the week I was induced, On Monday I was in the midwifes office, hoping to get my membranes stripped that day, (thus putting me into labor, I did this with the last 2 babies at 41 weeks and it worked) but since I was RGB positive this was not an option for this pregnancy. I would be 39 weeks on Friday and measuring 2 weeks ahead (I have big babies!).The midwife, bless her, so softly broke the news to me that since I was RGB positive I was no longer a candidate to have my membrane stripped. I started hysterically crying, in her office, apologizing for crying, but I just couldn't take the chronic pain anymore. I was done. So she scheduled for me to be induced that Friday.

As Justin drove me into the hospital that morning I was silent, fear stricken silent. I remember Ed Sheeran's "Perfect" came on... and one line was "well I found a woman, stronger than anyone I know" and justin turned to me and said "you're the strongest woman I know babe, you can do this" and I just started balling my eyes out. In that moment I felt soooo not strong... feeling like how am I going to do this? How is this going to go down...

(picking up a month later to finish this post - life is too much right now!)

The first time I'd been truly fear stricken in my life, or shall I say, the moment I felt it the most, out of any other fearful moment I've had in this life. I kept asking myself, why am I so scared at something so natural and that I've done twice before? And I think (after pondering it for a month or 2 now) is that I'd never been induced... a plan for when the baby comes out? That never was in my other 2 experiences, so the fear of me not just busting into spontaneous labor was like... what? I'm going to just sit in a hospital room and labor?  asking myself a million questions - mainly about how much more painful is this going to be than the last 2... will I just bust into the pain of 6 or 7 cm or will it gradually increase (it's gradual I later found out and manageable)...

Well... there were pro's and there were cons to that. But I remember walking into the hospital scared then quickly feeling...ok, this is kinda nice not being 9 cm dilated and trying to check in with registration and discussing health insurance between contractions.

To make a long story short, I started pitocin at 10am and a beautiful baby girl we now call Elle was plopped onto my chest at 11:01 pm on 11-17-17. She didn't cry at first (which always makes me nervous) but after a few shakes by the nurse, she let out a few cries (nothing like her sister lol). I was speechless... I knew that she was going to be a good baby because of the simple fact that she wasn't screaming for hours after delivery. As Justin and I sat in the labor and delivery room, we were in awe, yet again. At the exact moment that I was thinking it, Justin said "man... forget about firemen and police officers, all of those nurses are the real life hero's"... not to take away from firemen and policemen but nurses (esp. labor and delivery nurses) don't get enough kudos! Then around 3am Justin and I were then transported to the maternity ward where we were taken care of by more of THE NICEST NURSES!

Now I have labored in 3 different hospitals in and around Boston and I have to say, Newton Wellsley hospital, while I was skeptical at first, has won my heart for the best place to labor & deliver. With Sienna I delivered at Brigham and Women's Hospital and with Ethan I delivered at Mt. Auburn hospital. Without going into too much detail, the nurses at Newton Wellsely Hospital were the most welcoming, "motherly" (because that is truly the type of people you need around you at that moment) and most caring group of women I have had the pleasure of "doing business with". And a special shout to to my Midwife was amazing, Kim (who works for Dedham Medical OBGYN). She was undoubtedly thee best midwife ever... I later found out she's from Wisconsin (where the nicest people in America live) but her bedside manor and capacity for empathy was truly remarkable. I felt like I was in such good hands.

So all in all it was a great experience but maybe one of my most growthfull experiences in terms of realizing what it's like to work through your biggest fears & most painful moments.

(picking up yet a month later to add some photos taken in her first weeks of life)